me.

i am not a game player.
i'm a game changer.

i don't want to fit into the box.
i will make my own box.

i don't want to be apart of music.
i want to create something new.
and then share.

you sit and critique
i go and make
you judge
i'm doing.

i don't want to spend time looking back.
worrying.
i will just keep going forward.


i am not like the rest.
i will find my own
and then conquer it

i will do this not for myself
but so that the world is constantly growing
that we are constantly learning

we have to be the best version of ourselves
not someone else

you think i'm crazy.
naive.
reckless.
i see it as the only way to be.

i am scared all the time.
i am the best version of myself when i move in the fear
instead of staring at it.

i am tragic when i think too much
but i am brilliant when i just jump

two whole days.

flying with my guitar gets expensive
until someone is paying for it
to fly :) it gets expensive
so for this show.
i put it on the truck going ahead of me.

which meant i had to send it today.

TWO WHOLE DAYS
without it.
what am I going to do?

i almost teared up a bit.
as i loaded it in.
haha
along with my galashes.
hey.
never know when i'll need those green boots.

anywho someone at work asked
"you can't go two whole days without it? wow you must be good"

good.
would we say good?

dedicated yes.

i think i have a lot of talents.
but i work HARD at the guitar
to be ...OK.
it's what i am. ha
i think singing is my strength of the two :)

anyways i said
"well i LOVE to play so I guess that means more than good?"
and she agreed

then i thought of that statement
i love that statement
i love it

i'm not the best player
not a perfect player by any means
my guitar makes a lot of plunking noises.
but i never let it stop me
because i love it so much.

but i love it.
love it more than i would say most people
yeah i said it
bring it
i need it.

but i do think how strong is love?
loving to do something?
having a passion for something?
it outweighs being talented.

truly.

i think sometimes i hide behind what i'm talented at
because i know i'll succeed

i was talking to mandy yesterday
and she was saying how she just really really wants to work with animals.
and that passion for it.
gives me NO DOUBT she will.
maybe it'll be her career
maybe it'll be her hobby
but i know 100%
that that passion is a gift.

i don't have that passion for animals.
she does.

i don't have the passion for gardening.
janel does.

my passion for music.
makes me sick.

so what are you going to do with it?

so what you are better at something else?
what are you going to do with what you're passionate over.

watch this.

http://donmilleris.com/2011/07/11/facing-your-fears/


i miss you little guitar.
i'll see you in two days

a love note

So I've always loved notes.
I used to wake up as a kid
and my mom or dad
would leave me a note on the stove
usually chores
or a reminder
but there was always a sweet
" i love you"
at the end

unless it was from my sister.
then it usually had a four letter word or
"i hope you die"
from her.hahha
hey.
we're now best friends.
so it worked out well.

and sometimes when working at the mall
haha sports sensation.
my friends would put notes on my car
i loved it.
still do

but i love notes

so i wake up this morning
it's 5:45a i'm struggling to walk to my car
and i see
a note.
a note a note a note!!!
a boy wanting to tell me he loves me????

but he's too nervous to do it in person?
ohhhh
exciting

wait for it.
not a love note.





BAHAHAH WHAT?!!!

hahahaha i'm still laughing
how funny.

yesterday we had to get new parking passes.
new HOA company.
I was excited I ACTUALLY did this on time.
usually they stalk me to do anything.
someday I will actuaally go to an HOA meeting.

maybe.

haha but OBVIOUSLY this person
doesn't know that they have to get a new pass.

haha and what are they thinking?
leaving me a note?
really?

like someone.
went out of their way
saw there were no spots.
at midnight.
found the ONE CAR

in the dark

that didn't have the old sticker
parked.
found paper
found a pen.
wrote the note.
walked to my car.
left it.
then found a parking spot wayyyy on the other side.

that's effort.
(insert slow clap for this person)

then i started thinking...

imagine if we all went to that effort
to leave a note.
but what if it was a nice note?
leave a kind word on someones car
random "have a blessed day"
note on someones car?
random person
that you would never have to talk to?
i think i'm going to start doing that.
leaving notes.

a note of a kind word.

a "smile someone thinks you're awesome"

or "hey i know it's monday but it could be worse, at least a bird didn't poop on your head today!"

something. anything.

i'm going to start doing it.
it can't harm anything..only make someone random smile.


and even though this wasn't a love note.
it made me smile
and i might not ever throw it away.