Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Eyes on Him

sitting in a hotel room in Chicago.
just listening to music.
thinking about God.
and Jonah came to mind.
we're studying the book of Jonah at church
and the past few weeks we've been studying Jonah's prayer to God
and how it's a prayer yes
but how his prayer is focusing on Jonah's strength and pain
and not on the Characteristics of the father

Jonah 2

The Message (MSG)

At the Bottom of the Sea

1-9 Then Jonah prayed to his God from the belly of the fish.
He prayed:
“In trouble, deep trouble, I prayed to God.
    He answered me.
From the belly of the grave I cried, ‘Help!’
    You heard my cry.
You threw me into ocean’s depths,
    into a watery grave,
With ocean waves, ocean breakers
    crashing over me.
I said, ‘I’ve been thrown away,
    thrown out, out of your sight.
I’ll never again lay eyes
    on your Holy Temple.’
Ocean gripped me by the throat.
    The ancient Abyss grabbed me and held tight.
My head was all tangled in seaweed
    at the bottom of the sea where the mountains take root.
I was as far down as a body can go,
    and the gates were slamming shut behind me forever—
Yet you pulled me up from that grave alive,
    O God, my God!
When my life was slipping away,
    I remembered God,
And my prayer got through to you,
    made it all the way to your Holy Temple.
Those who worship hollow gods, god-frauds,
    walk away from their only true love.
But I’m worshiping you, God,
    calling out in thanksgiving!
And I’ll do what I promised I’d do!
    Salvation belongs to God!”
10 Then God spoke to the fish, and it vomited up Jonah on the seashore.

Sometimes...a lot of times 
my prayers are very similar
me talkng to God
about what I've done
my pain my thoughts the way I see it
and I know He's glad that I am talking to Hm
but how much more wise It would be to listen
and If I can't find space to be silent
than at least spend the time listing out 
Who HE is versus who I am 

He is srength
He is holy holy holy
He is all knowing
He is Sovereign
He is Omnipotent
He is Omniscient
He is Omnipresent
He is all loving

whew..whew whew
I hear Him know He is guiding me
and sooo many times I tell him
"it's too much, don't you know who I am? i'm itty bitty and this task is giant"
and sad to say I say that all too often.

and for whatever reason
as I'm thinking about all of this
I remembered a story my mama told me 
and if you were at my bday this year i shared this story
but short version is 
the day of my birth was a miracle

long story short
i was born a month early
mama hemorrhaged 
she was rushed to the hospital
on the way to the hospital
my mom and dad decided that whatever happened to them and their child
they would trust God in it
just the thought of that heavy heavy conversation
how hard that conversation must have been
but I truly believed they meant it
that they would trust God in it.
and my mom said a great peace came over her after they said that
at that very moment, peace.
so they get to the hospital
she went into labor
and the little bundle of joy you know today
lindsay michelle was born

so my dad goes to get my mom some ice
and the doctor comes in and shuts the door
and tells her that he shouldnt be saying this to her or asking her this 
but he wanted to know what her and my dad believed in
and she goes "well God, we believe in God." 
and he goes "good. I'm catholic and a doctor and I shouldn't be saying this, but if you didn't believe in God before today you should."
and my mom just sits there in silence as he continues.
"if this baby would have been born on her due date, I honestly don't think we would have you and her both here.  I don't think you or her would have made it.
Today was a miracle, nothing short of a miracle that you both survived and you should have great faith. The hand of God was on that child and on you." 

i don't know why i'm remembering that story now
but i'm glad i did.
but it's a great reminder
i absolutely had no control
if i died or lived 
or if my mom died or lived all those years ago
but God did
Nothing is too big for Him
nothing will thwart His plan
not then not now not ever

and even though i've grown up
i still have the same amount of control
haha none
But the good news is
God still has the same amount of control
He still has absolute power
and I am His daughter that can trust Him in His plan
The Hand of God is on me
and I can trust when He says go ...that He has control I just need to walk.
I can trust that the story is not about my strength or my pain
but about His power and about Him
so Jonah was brave and did pray
but the story wasn't really about Him at all
it's about God's pursuit and continual love and strength

i love this song:

how great is our God!

take my eyes off of me
and turn them to your strength
you are good.
thank you Yahweh.