Tuesday, January 15, 2013

H-E- Double Hockey Sticks

haha when I was a kid
that's how I said hell
"H-E-Double Hockey Sticks"
ha I thought every kid said it that way
then once I got to college I realized I was about the only one
that said it that way.
ha whatever
that's still how i say it

there are these wonderful, sweet, dear, kind, loving musicians
named Joey + Rory that have this song 
i loved this song since the first time i heard it
i remember it clearly
we were sitting in a hallway
waiting to rehearse 
and they just started singing it
and i just fell in love

it's called 
"Loved the Hell" 
and it's beautiful
a beautiful song about love.

it opened my eyes to a real love
a persistent love
a love that doesn't stop

true love
loving someone 
even if they hurt you
even if they don't understand you
even if you don't understand them
loving them when they let you down
just pure love

here are the lyrics to the first two verses 

A hundred times my Mama told me
That boy's trouble with a capital T
You'll never change him, I know his kind
But I didn't pay her any mind

Cuz, I...I...I..I just loved the hell outta him
Yeah, I...I...I…I just loved the hell outta him

He used to go out on the town
Close every single beer joint down
But I never asked him where he'd been
When he'd come draggin' in...

Cuz, I...I...I..I just loved the hell outta him
Yeah, I...I...I..I just loved the hell outta him

just love this song

so this morning i was riding into work
and this song came on my shuffle
and i just turned it up and started singing
and i sing all the time to every song
it's rather annoying to passengers sometimes
i just can't help myself
haha any who

for whatever reason i stopped singing in the middle of this song
and i heard the lyrics
heard one word
in the last verse
i had never heard before.

He swore the one thing he'd never do
Is sit here beside me in this pew
So I just smiled and said amen
This mornin' when he walked in...

'Guess, I...I...I…I just loved the hell outta him
Yeah, I...I...I…I just loved the hell outta him

i've always loved the last verse but i never realized ONE WORD was different


And of course I started tearing up
that one word


She's saying...because she kept loving him
where he was
who he was 
never changing who she was 
which was love in his life

that hell
that sin
that dislike we all have for ourselves
that hurt in him
can be gone
she kept using the same weapon
the same 
over and over and over
no matter the pain
no matter the disappointment
she kept going
kept using the most powerful gift we're all given
and that pain he had
he was holding onto
was gone.
or he was changing because of it.

because of love.

we all are both people in this song
we both are the one that keeps doing the same thing over and over
refusing to change
stubborn pride

and then we're all the forgiver
we're all the one hurt
we're all the one disappointed
we're all the one that can show someone love
unconditional love
keep loving 
keep going

and expect it to work
expect it to win
expect that hell to go away
by love

how many times have I quit loving someone? 
if I'm being honest, how many times? 
a lot? 
because they hurt me? I didn't understand them?
they didn't believe what I believed?
they were destructive to themselves? 
so I judged them? 
I quit loving them?
ahhhh but what if we kept going?
just kept loving
like it could win battles
if we kept going
it could defeat any hurt and pain? 

the beautiful thing is
love can beat it all
if we just keep going
if i just remember to keep going
and keep loving
despite how i feel sometimes
keep loving

ahh i just love it. 
love how one word
in a song that i've heard 100 times
can just spark something in me

how powerful it really is
it can change the world
it can heal
it can change us
it can do the impossible

Matthew 18:21-22
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]