i'm not sure if i'll ever get good at letting go of something good that just doesn't fit anymore.
it's easy to let go of something that hurts, like picking up a hot pan, we're all quick to drop the pan.
Accidentally picking up a knife at the wrong end, we all drop it. (ha I give so many cooking references because I've done them all)
But it's not easy letting go of something good, that you know doesn't fit anymore.
Like when I left for college it was so natural, I SPRINTED to Akron, I couldn't wait to see college and meet all those neew people.
My mom on theo ther hand, I can't imagine how hard it was to let me leave. ha maybe itw as sooo simple, but to let me fly out the coop and explore, I'm sure it was not easy but it was right.
Maybe I'm more selfish, or maybe I just squeeze on a little bit longer, but it's just hard to love something good and feel it could be time to let it go. Let it fly, let someone else love it, maybe love it. better.
Many of you don't know this (by many I mean the 1 person that might read this), but my minor in college was logic and philosophy. It was almost ceramics.ha does that just about sum me up? I love black and white. Right and wrong. if you do this than this result will happen. And I love art and creative and mess turned into beauty. I truly think God made my brain love both sides. ha I love Tim Keller philosophy and then I love seeing God in the ocean or paintings or just in the wind. Both.
Anyways the logic side of me has always thought if it's good, kind, lovely you keep it. Mean, ugly, awful means you let it go and hope it fails miserably. ha But as I get older that's not life.
not all good you get to keep. And not all bad goes away. life isn't true justice on this side of heaven. it also isn't that black and white. Good friendships don't work out forever. Relationships that you want to work don't s tay forever. Towns you once called home might not be your home forever. life is harder than keep wahts good and get rid of what is bad.
this is where i'm thankful for Jesus. I don't know how people do life with out knowing the messiah came for the messy and knows what is going on, and even when we feel like it doesn't make sense he is still there. We can lean. lean hard.
i'm so thankful tears are prayers. a lot of my prayers as I get older are just tears. ha don't worry, it doesn't mean sad, I just sometimes cry instead of say words. it's a cool part of getting older, I get to know this is who I am with him, he made me a cryer. ha no shame at all.
anyways...letting go of good things is just against logic and my head and little heart can't grasp it. But thankful for heaven when I won't have to let go of good anymore.
