why i run

i went for a really long jog this morning
shelby bottoms is just so gorgeous
and i just couldn't help but think
of how running started for me
when i first started running

3 years ago my friends and i ran our first 1/2 marathon
we trained with TNT
i was NOT a runner
i loved to play sports
all the time anytime
a tad too competitive at times
ahhhaha flag.football.
but running, nah...
not a runner
people fit into two categories
runners vs. non runners

(haha when in life can you ever put people in two groups?)

anywho.
i was a non
but we were all going to train for TNT
train to be as strong as lauraine
train to be runners
or at least train enough to pretend to be runners

needless to say that first 1/2 was amazing
words can't describe it
it was soooo hard
physically and mentally hard
but running with my closest friends
training for months
singing the rocky theme song everyday to inspire us
and to cross the line...
i think every single one of us cried
it didn't matter what our finish time was
or how many times we had to stop
or who came in first
we did it
we crossed the finish line
the mental line of
"no way, too hard" to
"i just did it!"

i thought that would be my first and last 1/2 marathon.
but for some reason i just keep running
it's still a huge challenge for me to run
so i keep doing it.
i would have thought it would have gotten easier
but no
it's still a mental challenge
of left foot..right foot..left foot...right foot...13.1 miles done.

i love running before the sun rises
in the dark
it feels like only God and I are awake
and that one crazy dog that sometimes chases me
and makes me scream in terror EVERY time

haha anywho..
i feel like no one can touch that time
in the dark..running.
i've grown to love to run
to love those morning runs

i run because everyday i have a million excuses
why i don't want to run
why i don't have time
why i don't feel like it
so i run in spite of those
in the face of those excuses
running challenges me daily.

so i run.

today as i'm running
i'm thinking of how similar life is
to running for me
especially my life right now

it's left foot..right foot..left foot...
and sometimes i run fast
sometimes i run with my best friends by my side
sometimes i have to run at a different pace than normal so i can run with a friend
sometimes i have to run alone...

sometimes i'm literally barely making it up the hill
practically crawling up these TN hills
sometimes i'm running..palms open..down a hill
with the wind in my hair
sometimes i trip and fall flat on my face..and break my phone
ha yeah that happened
sometimes i choose not to run
sometimes He tells me to walk instead of run..
to slow down.

but every run i go on
God is always by my side
and it's always a choice
a choice to run..or to say no not today
but i get to make the choice
to move my feet

and sometimes i don't want to
but i run because every step i take
makes me stronger
makes me lean into God more and more
to need his strength to be who He wants me to be
to need him to move my feet



2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.