not who I was

i'm not where I was 

i'm at rest and at peace with myself

no longer fighting to be normal or fit in 

no longer fighting who God made me to be

gosh sometimes it would be easier to fit into the mold

fit into 

but I cant

it squashed me to almost no breath left

no heart beat

only making a paycheck, making a dinner and netflix nad chill

what kind of life Is that

watching other peoples lives instead of living?

i'm not there anymore

I can't buy into "this is the dream" 

it's not the dream I was born with

my heart was meant to beat

meant to get my feet dirty

meant to love people outside of my age range

outside of my race 

outside of my comfort zone.

to explore to learn to beat to run to fall

my heart was given breath

and I refuse to numb it to live the american dream