blessed doesn't even begin to describe it.

i can't sleep.

i don't want to sleep.

i want to soak it all in.

i don't even know where to begin.

this is all so overwhelming.

i wish you all were back in the dressing room. 

because it would have made the on stage part that much more shocking.

i was crying.

i couldn't control it.

they just came. 

part nerves and part "oh crap, what are we doing?"

the no turning back thing, kind of scary.

the amazing friends that came back and prayed with me.

and told me "it's ok to cry, your mascara is waterproof!"

even though it wasn't.

the second, the very moment i got out there.

God took over.

he took my nerves, the words, the chords, he took over.

i felt as comfortable on that stage as i do in my own car.

it was odd.

the people that make up my life.

i don't deserve the love that i get.

but i'll take it. 

the ones that came and cheered and laughed and cried with me.

the ones who were there in spirit, praying.

thank you God for all of you.

no one can do life alone.

you believed for me when i was scared.

and i'm blessed to be surrounded by the best.

truly.

i wish for all of you to do this. 

do something that you've talked about.

something you think is just for other people.

something that seems out of your reach.

just try.

sept 12th, all of you. 

be there.

get there somehow.

lots of love.

these appeared right after the show.