Roy

so it's been a crazy football season
and no i'm not talking NFL
and i'm definitely not talking about OSU's season
we're not talking about their "rebuilding" year
haha

i'm talking about my brothers senior high school season.
senior
so i've driven home 3 times in the past 6 weeks
that's 6 hrs each way
for a total of 36 hrs in the car
alone.
so even though i love all 3500 of my songs on my ipod
sometimes
i need something more

i was given something more
a few months back.
a farewell talk
from a YL leader
named Bill Goans

i love listening to it
it's a great way to fill 45 min of this very long drive
i laugh during his talk
i always cry when he talks about his wife
always
sap i know.
and always get motivated when he talks about faith
being an action
a PERSISTENT action
not just something you read
something you do.
anyways i'm like YEAH GOD I HEAR YA
i'm moving
i'm doing it

sooo after bill is done talking
i wipe up my mascara
get out of my car
and start pumping my gas
thinking
Yes I love YL I love that it challanges me..
love it.

my thought is quickly interrupted
interrupted by a man

man: "excuse me miss....."
me:"uh huh?"
man:" my car broke down....i need to get to ohio to see my dad....lima ohio"
me: "you're from ohio, I'm from lima? what part?"
man:"uh he's there for work...but i need to get there to see him uh..."
me: zoning out... thinking to myself "you have GOT to be kidding this story isn't even consistent!!
man:"so anyways do you have any money to help me?"
me: at this point I don't know if he needs money to fix his car or if he needs money to help his father, but i look down and i am playing with my cross.

around my neck.

as i'm judging this man.

i'm playing with my cross necklace
and thinking of the bill goans speech.

i . just. heard.

no irony what so ever.

i just freeze.
get those goosebumps that i like to call
the holy spirit
and just freeze.

me:"sure. let me get my wallet."
now I KNOW this story is fake.
i know this.
i'm a college graduate.
but as i'm walking to my purse im thinking...this man
needs an action.

i give him some money

me: "what is your name?"
man: "roy ma'am, what is your name?" he grabs my hand to shake it
me: stunned that he asked my name. i don't know why "I'm lindsay roy, i hope you find your way to lima"
man "thank you so much"

i go into the gas station to get some subway
(my favorite road food)
and just think.

why did that action take so much work?
why was i judging him?
why was i doubting him?
why was it sooo hard to just love him and say "ok"

i am roy everyday.
everyday i make up a story
and maybe when i make up the story "yes God I will not do that again..."
maybe everytime i INTEND on doing the right thing
but i mess up
and yet everytime
EVERYTIME
God gives me another chance
gives me that $5
but his $5 is soo much more

what if all roy needed is someone to look him in the eye
shake his hand
believe that this time
he's going to take that money
take that "chance"
that forgiveness
and do something with it
and maybe he didn't that time
maybe when i left the gas station he went and bought drugs
i don't know.
but maybe
he decided to believe in God
because he saw an action

i'm not saying i'm jesus
at all.
but i'm saying ...we all are roy
we all need chance after chance to change
forgiveness
a chance
to not be judged
someone to smile at us and say
this is the time..the time to change it up roy
we all are shown grace daily
we all take that grace
but how many times do we actually show it
we need to do action more
i need to do action more.

as i get back in my car
with my flat bread sub
i drive away
and wave to roy
just sitting in his truck
and he just waves and smiles

maybe that was the day.
it all changed for roy
maybe it wasn't
but i know it was a great reminder
that faith means moving
and not just a spoken word
an action.