it's not supposed to make sense.

it's the night before the awards.
i can't sleep
so many things
running through my head
so many things
just running through every. single. detail.

i'm just excited
nervous

i stood at rehearsals today
almost in tears
just thinking
how much i love music
how much i love these people
i'm exhausted
and just can't stop thinking
and laughing

that God knew i would be here
with these people
no way i would have ever picked them
no way i ever COULD have picked them
friends twice my age
1/2 my age
different cultures
from all over the country
all over the world
best friends
akron. murray state. vanderbilt
people i love
people i cry with.
family that i wasn't born into
but family none the less.



a friend sent this to me tonight
she believes in love
even if he lives in another country
even if it looks ridiculous from the outside looking in
even though it looks like a "yeah right that's insane"
she believes
and i love to see her faith
when the world says "uh no"

where would we all be if we all just let go of "what makes sense"
and just loved?
maybe we would be able to see God.

im so thankful i just let go
and fell in love with these people
so glad i didn't turn away because they didn't make sense
haha they DON'T make sense
so glad that
even though i was thinking "no way...."
even though the world was saying "that's not realistic"
God just held on to my heart
and said "watch what I can do"

night.