i had a crush on you if...

ok so it's my summer of yes.

yes to taking back my life.

not letting a career decide who i am.

letting love and faith lead the way.

soo...

i'm 27 and have dated like an idiot for the past 5 years.

ok my friend steph would say all through college too.

but i'm over it.

i'm sick of being stupid.

so here is a huge flaw of mine.

i think i'm a great person

i'm probably one of the most charming people you'll meet ;)

so i'm not trying to beat myself up

ha but this is a flaw

I HAVE GOT TO GET RID OF.

what better way than a blog huh?

here are my huge dating flaws

they USED TO EXIST

lately i've been really good about getting rid of them

but i think guys should know they're out there

idiots like me

outgoing

and talking to everyone

except the one she likes

let's play this game....

lindsay liked you if....

1. i talked to your best friend instead of you.

yeah i do this.

i also ALMOST ALWAYS

get asked out by the best friend.

example:

you and your friend walk in.

i have nothing NOTHING to say to you

but instantly bond with your bff paul

sorry bff paul.

i just am too nervous to talk to your friend Bob that I like

sorry bob that i ignored you.

it's just that i was too nervous around you.

2. I've danced with your best friend.

ha and i love to dance

so chances are

i've danced with your best friend

in hopes that you would ask me to dance

ughhh just ask me to dance fellas.

it's easier than this game

unless i held your hand after you danced with me

then i liked you

3. i couldn't hold a conversation with you.

news flash.

i can have the best conversation with a bookshelf.

if i couldn't form a sentence around you

i liked you

if a conversation is really awkward, example:

you: how are you today?

me: i like pencils. sometimes i use pens. but mostly pencils, except when i use markers.

yep.

i'm baffled and have noooo idea what words are spitting out of my mouth.

i liked you.

4. if i pretended i didn't see you.

sorry guys.

this one is HUGE for me.

i suck when it comes to this

example:

i'm at sushi yobi with friends

you walk in.

this place is smallllll.

narrow.... the waiting area is seen by the whole restaurant.

everyone sees you.

but i'm still looking the other way.

then you walk up to the table and i drop my chop sticks and act surprise.

yes.

i saw you and am 5 years old.

then i go back to number 1 and immediately start talking to your bff

and asked him to hang out and play volleyball instead of you.

yep

i was just hoping you would say

"i want to hang out too"

see they all tie together.

5. I emailed you or facebooked you instead of talking to you

ughhh i hate that I can't say what I want to guys in person.

actually most guys are like this too

text.

facebook.

email.

lamesauce.

instead of talking in person.

it's weak really.

imagine if our grandparents had done this?

been this lame?

where would we be?

so guys that i have liked

i'm sorry

sorry that i really liked you

and you probably felt a connection too

and then i played ALL SORTS of games

truth is.

it was just to make you come after me.

which is stupid.

but the truth.

i smile all the time.

laugh all the time so you don't see

that i really miss or like you.

girls do that.

we want to smile in pictures so you don't get it.

but really we just want you to ask us to go get coffee.

no more games.

good thing out of all of this

this summer

i've grown soo much.

it's sad that i wish i could have grown in the past

that maybe one of you would still be in my life

but what's done is done

but i've grown

and two.

i've written some really great songs out of the heartache this has caused me.

haha no seriously

lots of songs.