off the hook

the doctor told me to take time and relax.

ha he knew when he said it, and i laughed.

that i wouldn't listen to him.

but i'm trying.

i've got 3 books in front of me.

i've played words with friends.

watched a ton of sappy movies.

painted my cabinets.

ok ha that's not relaxing but hey, i'm trying.

and when i spend enough time alone.

i think.

a lot.

i usually get mad at myself.

at a situation i can't control.

i usually laugh to myself.

and i ALWAYS sing.

me and God.

we're a duet.

anywho.

there are certain things.

i really. really beat myself up on.

and i've decided.

to let go.

let myself off the hook.

i can't control life.

i can't.

and as long as i'm walking and looking for God.

he will continue to guide me.

sooo if that square peg that i'm trying to squeeze and shove into the round hole

isn't fitting.

i'm going to let it go.

instead of being sooo mean to myself.

i decided to really love myself.

i know i'm loved by friends.

and my family more than i can ever love them back.

but i decided

to love myself.

stop being so mean and hard on myself.

now i am a very happy person.

i can even be a tad cocky sometimes.

ha but i'm saying.

when it comes to those things.

those people.

i can't push where i wan't them to go.

i'm going to let myself off the hook.

what are the things you can't control but still try?

and the things you blame yourself for that you really shouldn't?

i say 2011 is the year to let yourself off the hook.

have some faith.

let go and see what happens when you're not pushing.

OK confession.

you all know i'm a sap.

i love romance. love it.

well. this is uber sappy.

but sometimes. when i need to be remided it's out there.

i go to youtube.

and watch videos of jim and pam from the office.

haha i know i know.

it's tv.

not "real"

but it reminds me that it may be on tv.

but it can be real.

it just takes a risk.

i'm ready for a risk.

and a cute jim too

;)

love me some Buble.