I walk a squiggly line

i've done a lot of things

i've tried a lot of things

and I would say most of the time I learn a lesson hard

fall hard and get back up all the wiser

i guess I just haven't been very scared to try-- take a risk-- and see

one of my favorite taco shops, baja taco, has appx 2 parking spots. haha they had more in the back but it used to be a FIGHT to get one of the front spots. Anyways I always used to go there and say "someone has to get a front spot, it might as well be me." Most people would just go straight to the back but not me, I would troll those two spots and a lot of times I get one! I know that's not a risk- but I lived a lot of my life with that motto.

my old boss and friend Cara once said "you know what I love about you... is when you mess up you you're not afraid to admit you messed up and you usually learn from it and don't do the same thing twice." 

I can't remember wha I had messed up in that moment at work but it stuck with me. I took it as a great compliment from her. I remember loving that about myself. that i'm not afraid to try..go for it....expect that if I mess up i'll be ok and get up and figure it out. 

I got older.

and sometimes falling and getting back up hurt a lot more

stung a little bit more

I took risk that had bigger losses than before

I think after awhile I kind of stopped trying

i started just "getting in line" with the rest of the world

doing what the other grey haired people do

just do the normal--- and stop taking so many risk--settle down wit yo bad self

but realized I couldn't

that God didn't make me for a straight line

in fact he had already delivered me from trying to be perfect and would NOT 

let me go back to trying to be that girl again

every time I tried to do the "straight line" thing

it didn't seem to work

worked for others but not for Lindsay

I think i'm supposed to keep being  curious

keep being ok with taking risk

and life looking different

and keep on getting hit a bit..but getting back up....

***Insert Rocky Quote right here--- you know the one**** 

these lyrics from needtobreathe hit me so good...I think i'm just going to keep living a life that NEEDS Jesus to show up with Miracles everyday...little ones...and big ones... not the life I can control..but a life were i'm the daughter and he takes care of me.

"I don't need silver linings

I don't need so much more

I just need room to be wrong sometimes

that's all i'm hoping for

I feel like we could find it

if we knocked on heaven's door

i'd say God, i'm only human

you'd say that's what i'm here for