Did you give up living your life? The life you were when you were a kid---- I mean we can't be kids forever obvi-- but did you give up believing in yourself- believing in a life that is important and full of joy. I think I hit a point where I just kind of thought "it's time to be normal, it's time to settle down and be normal" and to be honest, me trying to be normal doesn't really work. Somehow it looked like me stop living and trying to be something else.
I have a sweet friend whose mama just passed. But when she was in hospice she was making hair and lunch appts. my friend said some people thought she should stop her and bring her back to reality, but my friend didn't. My friend kept letting her mom make appts till the day she passed. her mom lived her life till the very last moment- scheduling and kept going not knowing if she'd get to eat that lunch or get her hair done.
I told my friend sometimes I wish I was that hopeful and faithful with life as her mom. some days I just waste a day with being stuck. Not knowing which step to take next, or maybe having fear of being different and taking a different step that I just don't take any. So I just sit--- and miss a day-- and another day.
I want to be more like her mama- living a life with a goal- with a mission- like 12 year old Lindsay did- She was NOT concerned with the American dream as a little girl.
At 30 something ;) I have gotten very concerned with the American dream and how I don't have it.... and how I need it. I got so focused on "normal"... I forgot that I have another story to live right now--- and to find it and go for it--- that I have to keep going towards something amazing and fun which is me and my story God made just for me. And yes it will be hard and there will be mistakes and set backs but it's the only one made for me.
The past year or so... I haven't really made many mistakes other than not trying for anything at all. I'm being vulnerable here- for the 1 person that might read this- I've become more "normal" than I ever have been- and I just don't like it. it's boring- I want to fight for things and work hard for things and set goals and achieve and fail. LIVE LIFE.
Yahweh made us to live a life-- He did--- and i'm not talking prosperity gospel here- it's not all Millions of dollars and perfect health and just perfect. Life is hard and tragic and things don't always go your way and we will NOT understand His will most of the time- but I do know this--- he wants us to keep pursuing him--- keep going towards the gifts we've given-- keep being a light and trying for things- trust for him to come through on things that are bigger than us.
That's all- I needed to write this to myself- this is a letter to Lindsay Michelle Frail... GET UP...
growing up doesn't mean giving up who you are.
keep going with who you are--- even if it's hard ...WHEN it's hard.
what if it takes 40 years to write that book
keep writing
20 years to write a song
keep singing
keep going
30 years to find a mate
keep dating
Even if you don't see it on this side of heaven--- isn't it better to keep trying till the day you die than your heart to die while you're on earth.
ok bye. mic drop.
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