it's a ripple

so i did a lot of me time today.

just thinking.

me and God.

driving in my car.

shopping for dresses for the show.

i do a lot of thinking when i'm alone.

tooo much thinking.

but i was thinking of a convo my cousin michael and i had 3 weeks ago.

we're both very similar.

we think we can change the world.

we know we can.

we both barely sleep.

our minds are always moving.

we feel like we can't take a day off.

because people are always watching.

we feel like we have to shine all the time because we don't want to miss anyone.

maybe we're going to exhaust ourselves.

but i dont know.

no one said loving people would be easy.

no one said leading this world was simple.

yes. i'm a world leader.

and if you've never thought this about yourself.

i feel bad for you.

because you can

you are.

whether you like it or not.

you're changing this world.

life is a ripple.

you don't get a choice in that.

you only get a choice in if it's a positive ripple or not.

michael said to me "linds we're ignorant to think our life is only about us. we're foolish to think every decision doesn't effect people we'll never meet!"

wow.

wow.

maybe you didn't know it.

but when you honked your horn at that car the other day.

there was a little boy in that car you honked at.

he saw it.

he saw that anger.

and somewhere.

he kept it.

and someday it'll come out.

maybe while driving he'll honk.

or maybe he'll be a yeller.

or maybe worse. who knows.

and you'll never know you taught him that.

but you did.

or that time you were at the grocery.

you were in a hurry.

and the clerk was kind of grumpy.

she said something.

you didn't have time for her.

it would have been easier to just say thanks have a great day.

but you decided

to tell her it'll be ok, we all have those days.

you shared a laugh with her.

smiled with her, she looked like she needed that.

it took no more time.

but she instantly felt a little bit better.

she smiles at the next customer.

the next customer was having a horrible day.

but now that the clerk is smiling....his day gets a little bit better too.

please know.

let's not be so blind.

our life is not about just us.

we will effect people we will never meet.

you will in some way....have an effect on my kids someday.

you will somehow have an impact on the future leader of this country.

somehow someway. something you say. a wave. a kind gesture.

so what do you want to pass on.

it can be as easy as just smiling at strangers

i know it sounds simple.

but a smile is just as contagious as a dirty look.

and a laugh.

well i truly believe a laugh is stronger than any medicine

something about it.

i truly think it goes deep into the soul.

so tomorrow.

just try.

it's not always easy.

trust me i can be the biggest grump of all.

but try.

to pass something on.

something worth passing on to people you'll never meet.

we.are.family.

Family.

can make you smile

and happy like no one else.

you are truly proud

that they can say their colors

and sit up on their own.

No two are the same.

some are teachers.

some laugh at everything.

some only speak in movie quotes.

some will be the next president.

no matter how different.

we're the same.

one family gene links us.

i think it's the sarcastic gene.

but all the same blood.

some are generations apart.

they may never understand why we don't

write letters

and why we don't pick up the phone.

we won't get why they don't know how to text

or why they can't upload photos on facebook.

one family though.

no matter what we've been through.

somehow

we put it all aside

and can just laugh.

and enjoy each other.

no matter what.

we didn't pick this.

haha we probably wouldn't pick each other.

but we were GIVEN each other.

we need each other.

thick and thin.

we're all we have.

we're blood.

we're family.

how time flies

one year ago.

i was in nyc.

thinking about buying a place.

i found one.

well it found me.

it kept coming in my inbox.

i kept deleting.

airport? tooooooo far.

kept coming in.

so i decided to call my realtor and go see it.

why not?

hooked.

immediately.

fell in love.

my mom and dad were in town for the "31 days" showing.

so they came along with lara and i.

we looked at 5 condos.

one had carpet in the restroom.

one had a bag of chips on the stairs.

ha

and one. well this one.

was perfect for me.

"the windows are old linds" my dad said to me.

i knew instantly.

this is it mom and dad.

i could picture myself drinking coffee on the deck.

i could picture my friends here drinking wine and watching a movie.

this is the one.

i knew.

it worked amazingly.

we painted it during rehearsal week.

hahaha charly hated that.

the whole crew mocked us for working 12 hrs then going to paint.

we didn't care.

we were excited.

i remember they had this. this witch in the basket. i loved her.

she's back.

wow. a whole year.

a whole year we've been here.

i remember the first week.

i scrubbed and scrubbed it.

it had a smell. a clean smell but it smelled like someone else.

i hated it.

i cried. yes i cried.

i remember sitting on my floor crying thinking this wasn't my home.

it didn't feel comfy but I would give it time.

maybe.

a whole year.

a lot of laughing.

a few tears.

we learned the single ladies/thriller/soulja boy in this place.

we've made lots of meals. and burnt some.

i learned you have to open the flue on the fireplace or the smoke will come in the house.

haha my parents have two fireplaces and i've never done that so don't judge.

we've had many guest on these couches.

we spent the summer at the pool.

we've missed HOA meetings OOOPPPSS

we watched all the episodes of LOST in 3 months.

i've baked a lot of cakes. made the floor very sticky from icing.

we've watched a lot of planes fly right above us.

we've been on a lot of those planes.

it's been a fun year.

thanks miss witch

for coming back

and reminding me

it's been a year.

here's to another year!

fall time.

i love fall.

most people do.

it's beautiful in nashville.

pumpkin spice lattes

macintosh yankee candle

football

haunted corn fields

the smell of bonfires

wearing my osu hoodie

Christmas music. yes. I start early.

holidays.

apple cider

carving pumpkins.

usually carving pumpkins poorly.

my moms potato soup.

with lumps in it. haha aka dumplings.

riding with the windows down and the heat on.

my CMA family

photographs.

they're always prettier in fall.

that's all for now.

just a few happy thoughts.

this one right here.

she's getting married.

couldn't be happier for her.

it's a blessed thing.

when you get to have joy for a friend.

some people never get to feel that.