thanks to the Tennesses titans

 it's not a shock that covid drained us all

it was a hard season

still is hard at times 

but it shook me to my core 

I felt like I couldn't breathe 

things I loved

a job I loved 

people I loved

just hidden

taken away

maybe miles away but might have well as been light years away

the distance was isolating

there is a reason they isolate prisoners

actually I don't know the reason

it's cruel

it's mean

and it teaches you a lot 

anyways im thankful for the roommates I had when it started

very thankful

they were light

but covid showed me a lot about myself

when you strip everything away

you realize what you really need

yes what I really needed was the Tennessee Titans 

haha jk jk 

well kind of 

but I realized when it all was taken away

I needed the Lord so much

needed to wrestle

and talk and hear and lean

LEAN into him

it wasn't pretty

yet it was close

and as I slowly got my breathe back

like most of us

I found myself needed people who could handle the light and the dark

no one else

and found myself looking for small small ways to laugh again

I have a friend

and she has a friend

that works for the titans 

and so we started going

we weren't fans

we just liked to be together so sometimes we'd spend 1/2 the game in our car giggling

and crying

and sometimes we would barely look at the field

but one game at a time we went

then slowly but surely

we'd watch a little more of the game 

watched this guy they called king henry run the ball

we enjoyed that

and before we know it

3. seasons...4 seasons later 

we're enjoying the games

not just enjoying

some would call us fanatics now.

we have pom poms and we have made the jumbotron

anyways the point is 

I dind't need the titans necessarily

but I needed fun

I needed to think of anything else but my situation

all I lost 

I just needed for 3 hrs, 17 times a year, I needed to just think of something else besides COVID and my life

and that's what the Titans did

we cheered we laughed we acted like fools 

we had fun like the other fans

like the kids

I think what i've learned from loving sports again 

is we need fun

the order we get we need something that isn't us driving life

pushing for more money

pushing to stay as fit as we were in our 20's

pushing to save for retirement

pushing for less wrinkles ;) 

we need something else

we need fun

we need laughter 

God made me that way

to handle life

I have ZERO doubt in my mind it's a gift

to notice the smallest things and laugh

to enjoy weird random things

I just forgot for a bit

which is ok we cna't laugh and have fun all the time

but the point is to find things that bring you joy

that can't be perfect can only be fun

I can't control if the titans win

(although call me Amy Adams and we can talk about me coming to work there and seeing what I can do as your new employee haha ok ok I'd make a lowsy GM but i'd make a great events and operations director, just saying) 

anyways back to the titans...

I can't control how good they are

who gets injured

if they win

if Derrick becomes my friend 

that's what I love about sports actually.... you can buy the best team

have the best coach in the league (which we do)

and it's all up in the air, the worst team can beat the best team

someone can have the best play of their life

someone can make their worst play

the point is...you go all in..pick a team...and GO BIG cheering them on

lose yourself

wear the dumbest costume 

paint your face and your car

SCREAM LIKE THEY CAN HEAR YOU FROM THE 300 LEVEL

whatever it taeks to feel like a kid

and have some fun

and when they lose you can cry or be mad

but it's not that big of deal in your life comparative to the rest of your life

so there is a freedom to it

anyways im so thankful for the titans over these past three years

I have my pom poms laid out for the cowboys game tomorrow.

read that again.

I have my pom poms laid out

HAHAHAHAH 

that's fun.

find something that makes you want to go stand out in two degree weather 

that makes you act a fool to get on a massive tv

find something that makes you take yourself and life a little bit less seriously

thanks titans for doing that for me

for reminding me to let go a little bit

to have a little bit of fun as I get older

fun isn't just for the youth

it's for all of us

I love that you brought that to me again titans

I really do

my heart is a little lighter

and my laugh is a little louder

#TitanUp