just ask me.

i decided to edit my facebook.

take off all the personal info.

music. movies. hanging out tips.

gone.

i think we've all become too dependent on facebook.

it tells us everything about our friends.

we don't even need to talk anymore.

facebook updates us on anything and everything we need to know.

it shows us pictures of everyones weekend.

keeps us updated on their every move.

reminds us of birthdays (I am thankful for that)

basically facebook does all the work for us.

we don't have to get to know each other anymore.

ask me what my favorite movie is.

ask me what i like to sing to on the radio.

ask me what i do for fun.

if you really want to know me,

if you really want to figure out what makes me smile,

ask me.

Moving on.

My Christmas was a blast.

Here it is in a picture.

Everyone, meet my cousins.

there are 12 of us.

ranging in age from 28-15.

we're all different.

but we all have a bit of sarcasm in us.

some more than others :)

anyways, we're ranked, in order of favorite.

I proudly wear #6.

I'm pretty sure my real number is lower, but I will take a 6.

our parents wanted a nice picture of us.

we decided to pretend we're sleeping.

we're cool.

here's to 2010

I've starting to think about my new years resolutions.

I am already super nice, sweet, honest, and in tip top shape so those are all out :)

there are a lot of things i don't want to lose.

every generation is different from the last, but there are some things i hope we keep passing on.

i'm making this my new years resolution.

that's right.

me.

lindsay frail.

will keep these traditions alive.

one I think I'm going to do is talk on the phone more.

it's not that i don't like talking, i do.

it's just i don't make time for it.

i'm usually with people or too busy until my size 7 3/8 head hits the pillow

(i know, that's a large head)

but i think it's important to hear peoples voices.

hear their emotions.

too much texting. too many emails. we're losing touch.

i will write more letters and notes.

who doesn't love to get mail?

or a note on your car?

letters are words that are said that we can keep

and reread.

dancing. i love dancing.

in the kitchen, in the living room. out in the middle of the restaurant.

it's fun and who cares what others think.

i want to dance.

i don't have a dance partner yet.

i am taking applications.

hugging.

i like to hug.

strangers.

friends.

human touch.

homemade.

we buy everything already made.

we let others make it all.

food. i was raised on everything homemade.

i can cook. well i can learn to cook.

gifts.

i'm going to start making gifts from scratch.

i was a girl scout.

i can do this.

those are just a few, i'm going to think of more.

that's my plan.

hahahahahahah I hate seeing her sad but this picture rocks. classic. Santa is thinking " I don't get paid NEAR enough for this!" I love the caption at the bottom , "seasons greetings", right, that's what this picture says.

I get to babysit her for three whole days next week, if that isn't a Christmas present I don't know what is. love her.

how to clean the leaves 101

i like to jog in dc.

it's our nations capitol

it is indeed a well kept city.

however, the leaves.

let's talk leaves, they apparently don't like leaves here.

i pass approximately 20 people every morning "getting rid" of the leaves.

They use two different methods:

First method- leaf blower

grown men.

a leaf blower strapped to their back.

to move one leaf at a time.

maybe two.

across the sidewalk.

then they go back and get another one.

method number two- the hose

yep, hose.

water. LOTS of water.

this method can move about ten leaves at a time.

no worries on the world running out of water.

as long as we get rid of the leaves in front of 7-11.

i chuckle every morning.

they have to know this is a waste of time.

big waste of time.

get. a. broom.

get. the. job. done.

the end.

can't wait to get back to Nashville. oh how I miss everyone.

a picture for you.

carrie and i wen't shopping in georgetown.

i have a big head.

it didn't fit.

awesome.

i won't skip thanksgiving this year.

i love this time of year.

i love the anticipation of Christmas.

25 days of Christmas is about to start.

almost a month till we get to watch "a Christmas story"

12 times in a row.

im one of those people

that starts listening to Christmas music in july.

and i was talking to a friend

and he said "but what about thanksgiving, don't miss thanksgiving!"

he's right.

im a thanksgiving skipper.

i love it, don't get me wrong.

but 6 months out of my year is Christmas themed. it's true.

so this year i will embrace thanksgiving

i will put my favorite turkey sweater on.

i'm sure there is a thanksgiving movie i can watch

i will have to write a thanksgiving song.

something about the pilgrams and their sweet outfits.

everything sweet potato.

err wait..that already happens.

but thanksgiving here i come.

most of all i will be thankful.

i will be thankful for every blessing i've been given.

yesterday was a tough day.

and as im riding in the the aaa truck with kevin my aaa man.

and on the verge of tears.

i start telling him about all my blessings.

haha it was all i could do from crying

in a tow truck.

with a 7' tall man.

all i could do was tell him my blessings.

i know it's cheesy

but it's my blog and i can do what i want.

i'm thankful.

almost everyday i don't know how it happened

i did nothing to deserve them

but God has blessed me.

my family. they rock. they've taught me what it is to love.

thick and thin. they never quit.

i have friends that seriously i would do anything for.

and Lord knows have picked me up when i wanted to quit.

laughter.

i get to laugh a lot and that is a true gift.

and hope.

some call me crazy, most call me crazy actually.

but this hope, this never ending "anything can happen, i can do anything" hope.

i have hope.

i have more blessings than you have time to read.

but it's important to stop and say thanks.

even if you skip thanksgiving

because you think you're an elf.

happy thanksgiving!

medium this.

i had coffee with my lovely friend kels this morning.

and i always order a medium coffee.

this reminded me of a conversation i had with a friend of mine.

he said, "you know, there are studies  about people who order mediums.

people who order 'mediums', fries, medium rare, drinks, they're said to be indecisive and a follower? They say people who like medium are people pleasers and don't want to take a stand."

haha i'll show you a medium.

i like medium.

i stand by my medium.

small doesn't make it.

i like the taste.

i want more than a sip.

large makes my tummy hurt.

and i end up wasting.

i'm going green when i order my medium.

i don't like to waste.

so really i'm saving the world.

i like to take the medium slice of cake. 

the reason is because if you take the large.

you're a selfish heffer.

ha heffer. i like that word. anyways.

if you take the little one.

you'll always wish you had a bit more.

haha be honest.

i wear a medium shirt.

i can't help this.

i guess if i would take that large piece of cake.

i could end up wearing a large shirt;) haha

anyways. here is to all people who like "medium"

large people are jealous because they have to have it all.

and smalls well they're just pretending that small is enough.

we're not followers. 

we're just the people who order exactly what they want.

hahah speaking of cake.

here is a fun photo.

my dad would kill me if he knew i put this up.

but i think they look beautiful.

one word.

blue.

sometimes you bring out my temper.

i'm mad.

i'm upset. 

mad.

at myself.

and others.

that i love.

that chose to quit.

if you quit.

if you decide you just want to go with the flow.

that hurts me.

it hurts others.

i know it's easy.

to just do what every other person is doing.

it's easy to do what feels good.

but life isn't meant to be easy.

and by you settling.

it's more than just you.

my heart.

breaks for you.

i know what you are.

and it seems you gave up on that.

you gave up on being the amazing person that i know you are.

we all want it to make sense.

we all want it to be black and white.

we want easy.

but guess what?

grow up.

it's not. 

try. 

try to be something someone can look up too.

and when you fall.

because we all are human.

you'll fall.

daily.

get up.

move on.

learn.

grow.

crap you make me mad.

i'm not perfect.

FAARRRR FROM IT.

you're not perfect.

but that doesn't mean you can just quit.

life is meant to be fun too.

and love.

LOVE.

it's meant to have love.

yourself.

others.

believe you deserve it.

believe that others feel it too.

no one can love you if you quit loving yourself.

im mad that you just let yourself off easy.

you're better than that.

ok enough venting. 

i'm going to go watch some cheers.

the theme song.

reminds me of my parents.

i just remember it on at my house when i was a kid.

makes me happy.

the. end.

and I think it's very dangerous if we do not take what's ours....

packing.

i'm very bad at packing.

4 years in one house.

i've collected a lot of junk. 

show binders.

credentials.

halloween costumes.

intramural jerseys. 

pictures.

lots of pictures.

mr. narwahl. 

haha so packing what needs to be packed.

trying not to cry at the stuff going to goodwill.

so i've got my ipod jamming.

mostly Christmas music.

but some songs slip in.

like this one. 

the lyrics rock my socks off. 

i love this version because she's wearing sunglasses.

inside.

everyone knows how i feel about this.

silly.

anywho. 

the song is "gray or blue" by jaymay.

"don't second guess your feelings, you were right from the start"

it's about following your gut.

believing you deserve what was made for you.

and going for it.

love it.

smart car=happy lindsay

So i was driving yesterday.

and kind of busy 

and thinking of a million things.

giving myself heartburn 

the usual

anyways

God must have known i needed to laugh.

because what drives by me

but a smart car.

hahaha 

seriously people

i love them.

love like i love my sister.

ok maybe not that much love.

i had tears in my eyes 

they just don't look like they belong on the road.

they look like they belong in the backyard

with my 18 month old niece driving it.

but they make me smile so much.

and of course it was the tallest man with his head touching the roof.

do people know that they look like they're driving a toy?

i don't care.

keep buying cars that are too small for you.

because it makes me laugh and smile.

and that's what's important.

laughing.

good day.

gold and blue.

i loved college.

loved university of akron.

zip for life. 

sure our sports weren't apart of the big ten.

but it was our school.

big enough to meet new people.

but just getting off the ground enough to run it.

bye bye bob's.

hello huuuge stadium

we have a new stadium.

they basically squashed all our favorite hang out places.

put this bad boy directly on top.

if you look in the bottom right hand corner.

basically underneath the stadium.

you'll see my sorority house.

ha the stadium is a tad out of place.

but i'm happy for it.

happy for the new students.

i hope you love it like i loved it.

i hope you toilet paper houses.

go paint the rock.

paint the rock right after someone else did ;)

gain the freshman 20 (or 30)

i hope you learn when to go eat at the cafeteria 

(whenever the football and baseball team eats) ;)

i hope you cookout and play volleyball all summer.

be a student orientation leader. 

sure it's nerdy.

but it'll be the best summer ever.

listen to wzip.

be proud that it's the number ONE college radio station in the country.

lay out on the lawn. 

even though it's ohio and you'll never get a tan.

play intramurals.

even if the other team rips your sweatpants off in the middle of the game.

play hard.

go greek.

get involved.

it's only 4 years (or 7 for some)

love it all.

she can make anyone smile.

name- Dylan maranto

age-  Almost 1 1/2 years old! wow

eye color- brown eyed girl

hair- ha as if you could miss it

job- making the world a better place.

my brother in law's mom donna sent these, and they made my life. 

i didn't know you could love someone this much. 

funny thing is she makes so many peoples life that much brighter.

she has no idea that she is the smile of so many days.

First one, just chillin like a villian.

next.

lunch break. i mean what? 

everyone eats with their hands. 

and wears it.

even with food all over. no one can resist the smile.

hahaha please notice the hair.

hahahah and this one. 

first off.

i stand by the thought of a musical prodigy.

second.

the.hair.is.amazing.

i can't not laugh.

she rocks.

I wanted to share with everyone.

i hope she makes you smile too.

Lil' Frail in the houuuseee

So I love this show.

I've been laughing so hard.

me on a hip hop show. 

i'm learning a lot.

haha to say the least.

we all came up with our own hip hop names.

I'm lil' frail.

i've got another story.

of nyc vs. lindsay

so c pad and I were riding on the subway the other day.

and we weren't sure which stop was our venue stop.

so anyone that has ever rode the train, knows the doors don't stay open long.

so we stop, and she decides we should get off there.

she walks off.

the door starts shutting.

i was not about to stick my arm in it.

carrie looks back

i stare in confusion.

i try to open it with my finger (like that would work)

and out of instinct, yell "carrrriieeee" 

ahha and realize what i just yelled like a child, we start laughing.

she is standing on the dock as it pulls away.

im standing in the train.

laughing. uncontrollably. 

i turn around and EVERYONE on the train is laughing.

i couldn't believe i got stuck on the train.

and then yelled like a little girl.

haha laughed the whole ride.

when i got to the venue. 

we were crying laughing.

haha the little things. 

we're special sometimes.

here is the view from my hotel.

tribeca.

so cute.

miss my nashville. 

see you next friday.

trust yourself.

I'm in Harlem. 

I like saying that.

It makes me feel brave for some reason.

Like, this little small town girl, is staying in Harlem and is Still alive.

VICTORY!!!!

I must say I love it. 

I go running by the river.

there is a church next door.

You can hear the sermon and the singing.

It is a great city, truly.

sure makes me miss nashville though.

Last weekend we went to Raleigh. 

So fun.

We laughed and sang and danced at concerts. 

Visited old friends.

Made new friends.

And we also watched city of angels.

one part. 

hit hard. 

I loved it.

Seth: You're an excellent doctor. 
Maggie: How do you know? 
Seth: I have a feeling. 
Maggie: That's pretty flimsy evidence. 
Seth: Close your eyes. It's just for a moment. 
[touches her hand] 
Seth: What am I doing? 
Maggie: You're... touching me. 
Seth: Touch. How do you know? 
Maggie: Because, I feel it. 
Seth: You should trust that. You don't trust it enough. 

I loved it.

How often do we go against our feelings?

Just because something isn't PHYSICALLY there.

is it wrong?

feelings are never wrong, correct?

You feel what you feel? 

they may not be easy or fit into your life.

but they are real.

I think sometimes we search for approval.

we want to be "right"

not to be called foolish. 

wait for the right timing.

what if we didn't? 

what if we went with what we felt and just had faith the rest would fall into place?

Too many scared people. 

afraid to be what they feel.

terrified to love who they have feelings for.

It's almost like we're all OK with being the same.

In fact, we LONG to be the same.

Same size, same outfit, same home. 

B.O.R.I.N.G.

It's like we're afraid to be anything above average.

Why, because we might have to take a step alone?

Take a step in the dark.

Risk something on someone, with out knowing what will be?

Just go.

on feelings and not what "makes sense"

As kat would say "go team nike".

Just do it.

That's all on that. 

they are real. 

this is a picture of Lara and I bowling.

it makes me happy.

she makes me smile.

board games aren't just for kids....

everyone, meet amanda. 

amanda, meet everyone.

(and by everyone I mean Kate, Kat and mom)

amanda is an awesome friend.

she is in nyc right now for work.

she came to visit us for the weekend.

this is amanda playing a little game called hoopla.

she had to act out what was on her card.

what you're about to see, is why life will always be ok.

no matter how bad of a day.

God puts these random situations in your life.

things you can't plan.

and you end up crying from laughing.

amanda.

the queen of hoopla.

say cheese!

i'm lucky...here are just a few examples.

boat 18. redneck? maybe. fun? absolutely.

never need to question if my friends will be there when I need them. ever.

a guardian angel given to me when my hands were shaking.

janelle shining. 

i don't know if there is anything more natural than a camera in that girls hand.

Ruthie taking a leap of faith. truly awesome.

no more being scared.

Dyl bean. haha ohhhh hil and stu have their hands full.

loves.

blessed doesn't even begin to describe it.

i can't sleep.

i don't want to sleep.

i want to soak it all in.

i don't even know where to begin.

this is all so overwhelming.

i wish you all were back in the dressing room. 

because it would have made the on stage part that much more shocking.

i was crying.

i couldn't control it.

they just came. 

part nerves and part "oh crap, what are we doing?"

the no turning back thing, kind of scary.

the amazing friends that came back and prayed with me.

and told me "it's ok to cry, your mascara is waterproof!"

even though it wasn't.

the second, the very moment i got out there.

God took over.

he took my nerves, the words, the chords, he took over.

i felt as comfortable on that stage as i do in my own car.

it was odd.

the people that make up my life.

i don't deserve the love that i get.

but i'll take it. 

the ones that came and cheered and laughed and cried with me.

the ones who were there in spirit, praying.

thank you God for all of you.

no one can do life alone.

you believed for me when i was scared.

and i'm blessed to be surrounded by the best.

truly.

i wish for all of you to do this. 

do something that you've talked about.

something you think is just for other people.

something that seems out of your reach.

just try.

sept 12th, all of you. 

be there.

get there somehow.

lots of love.

these appeared right after the show.

we all start somewhere.

have you ever had a moment.

you saw something.

that just stirred you.

made you want to do something.

that you loved.

this video.

i saw this performance two years ago.

it made me realize that if you have a passion for something go with it.

trials. struggles. hard times. problems. 

don't worry. those will always come around. haha

but loving something DEEPLY. caring for someone. having passion.

rare.

if you get it. don't let it go. run with it.

it might not work out how you want. but at least see why it's there.

one more weekend.

jumping...

here are some wise words of eleanor roosevelt 

we all need these.

"A stumbling block to the pessimist is a stepping-stone to the optimist." 

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 

"Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively; unless you can choose a challenge instead of competence." 

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." 

"Do one thing every day that scares you." 

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

no turning back now......

less than one week...oh my.

i have the best friends in the world.

i'm nervous.

and excited.

it's been a long time since i've scared myself.

i don't think i've ever been this nervous.

let's do this.

thankful.

what miracles look like...

driving to wartrace.

stopping for swimsuits.

stopping to house shop.

no complaining.

only enjoying each others company.

giving up your choice of raft so your friend could have it.

not judging a friend for eating fried biscuits and oatmeal cake.

telling ghost stories.

laughing so hard about nothing at all.

that's love.

making tea at 11 at night.

talking about life and God.

laughing about the silly things.

being thankful for missing them

because you know that the 1 hour a month together

is worth it.

that's a blessing.

driving around a parking garage.

singing "knock you down." 

going to eat. 

for just a chance.

and a step.

you've never taken before.

not letting you give up hope.

and helping you believe in your gut.

true friendship.

thousands of miles apart.

countries apart.

and still pushing

still supporting.

still being a fan of

your friends dreams.

believing more than i believe sometimes.

emailing.

iming.

texting.

supporting crazy dreams.

even in blind faith.

having no idea why .

no idea what this music is about

what the documentary is about

and still believing

no judging.

just support.

pushing me.

keep me going.

when I want to quit.

that's enough to make anyone feel loved.

undeserving love.

day 17.

a few weeks till i sing.

and i feel ready.

because no matter what.

my friends will be there.

to remind me it's about faith.

my leap of faith.

feeding catfish that you can't see. staring at an alligator skull. laughing because you're alive.

love when you don't feel like loving....

care.

just a little bit more.

try.

just put in more effort.

im upset right now.

i'm upset at myself.

i'm upset at people close to me. 

please, I beg of you whatever you are. 

a friend. 

a family member. 

a girlfriend. 

a boyfriend. 

care.

try. 

i have a hard time when someone that is supposed to love me more than i'll ever know,

can only love me as much as they know how.

as much as they've been shown to love.

and for the life of me i can't understand why they can't try harder?

why when i tell them the most important thing of my week, they start talking about their dinner plans or laundry? 

why can't they just care like i need them to care? 

why is it only funny when it's funny to them, or important when it's important in their life? 

how can they only talk about what matters to them?

i am typing this as im upset.

and realizing..

i'm.just.like.that.sometimes.wow.

selfish.

we all are.

but i am not different than anyone else.

why not? 

why not try to be different?

just because i laugh at everything and love a lot of things,

i still can avoid situations i don't care much about.

i think we all need to step out of the "me"zone and it's all about "me" thing. 

when was the last time you listened to someone, TRULY listened to someone talk about something that had nothing to do with you.

their new boyfriend. their struggles at work.their struggles in love. their recent trips. and just truly cared. 

let them know that you were there, with them and hurt or excited with them?

when was the last time you HONESTLY supported someone in something they were going through. 

you didn't have to put your opinion in.

you didn't have to be right.

it didn't have to be important in your life.

you did it because you love the person that was involved in it. 

you listened to them talk about it for the 100th time because you don't want them to be alone?

i can say i have those people in my life that do that for me, and sometimes i might not be that person. so i guess when i realize someone important in my life can't care all the time either, that's ok. i need to keep trying with them.

if someone can't care as much as you need them to,

you keep trying you keep caring you keep being selfless. 

and i'm realizing that everyone has a different way of living. 

of loving. 

so laugh when someone needs you to laugh at their jokes.

cry when someone doesn't want to look like a fool crying alone.

listen even if you have a million things on your mind.

and love...love even when you are mad or tired or have a million things on your own plate. just love even if you don't feel like it...

that's all i have.

oh and it's day 14 of the documentary. what a whirlwind.

emotional rollercoaster.

exciting.

it's opening doors i never imagined.

people are already interested in hearing more about leaps of faith. 

God has moved janelle and i a lot in these 14 days.

can't wait to see where he takes us.

fun photo of the day.

my boss gave me the abominable snowman sticker.

it made me smile.

and some guy on an ostrich.

 

you be harry...i'll be sally.

i'm a sap. i like romantic movies. 

one of my favorite movies is "when harry met sally". 

so great. 

i've seen it a 100 times. 

never gets old. 

well i watched it this weekend and i just stopped. 

truly stopped. 

i've always known that to get a great love you have to put pride aside and risk looking like a fool. but i guess i never really thought of humbling myself enough to actually do that. and at the end of the movie. she blows him off, she is not interested. harry starts calling her.

 2 times.

 5 times. 

20 times later, she picks up. 

then she says don't call anymore, hangs up. 

who would keep going? 

who would have kept going after 2 times? 

the book "he's just not that into you" would tell you to stop after 1 call...let alone 20.

if you would have asked your friends, they would have slapped you and told you that you look like an idiot. anyways, he then KEEPS GOING. 

he can't get her off her mind. so he then runs to her party, and tells her he loves her. 

she tells him NO.

THEN he KEEPS GOING. 

tells her he loves her and says the famous line "when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." 

and she realizes she loves him too. 

i know it's a movie. 

but i know people who have done that. 

have followed their instincts above all. 

above what makes sense to everyone else. above what should happen.

they follow their heart.

i don't know if i would do that.

i would say majority of us wouldn't.

why?

people wonder why relationship don't work

marriages end.

maybe we need more of that?

why don't we risk looking foolish?

why do we care what others think of us?

why do we always have to look cool?

your friends don't have all the answers. 

your parents don't have the answers. 

the answer is in God. 

the answer is that feeling when they walk into the room.

that feeling of the wind being knocked out of you.

the answer is the huge smile on your face you can't wipe off.

when your hands shake and you can't find words to say to this person.

when you see this person, your nerves win and you can't do anything but stare at them.

it's that i can't let them walk out of here with out looking at them one more time feeling.

i can't go with out knowing them anymore feeling.

it's thinking "i don't care what others say, i have to get to know them."

that's rare, don't wait for the next time that comes.

it's not a common thing.

be harry.

for whatever reason your paths have crossed.

that's no small thing. 

it's not because this is a small town.

it's not because you have 100 mutual friends.

don't make it into something small. 

you ran into them in a world full of people. 

they make you nervous. 

they make you smile.

it doesn't mean you have to marry them.

just figure out why they make you scared and comfortable all at the same time.

figure out why you can't get them off your mind. 

the world needs more people who care about figuring out their gut. 

instead of just trying to figure out their money and career.

go big or go home.

that's all.

ending with my friends.

my friends are extremely funny. 

we all have a million things going on in our lives but we never run out of time to laugh. 

this next situation made me laugh sooo hard. 

this is kat.

she is standing outside of legends in nashville. 

her friends are standing inside.

she sees a random guy basically in awww of the keyboard player.

she thinks he looks like he needs a friend.

she goes outside to stand with him.

that my friends, is smiling at strangers.

it was hysterical yes, but also pretty cool.

for whatever reason he didn't want to come inside.

it was free.

and i bet he never thought someone would stand outside with him.

she made his night. 

a little effort can make a huge impact on someone elses life.

and also make for a great picture.

lyrics in my life....

i love lyrics. i love that sometimes you feel like you're going through something NO ONE has ever gone through or thought. like the world is on our shoulders. and then you hear a song, and it hits you hard, gives you goosebumps. because hearing that song is proof that at least one other person has gone through what you're going through. and they survived. 

here are some i want to share. some that i love. it doesn't matter the song. doesn't matter the artist. what matters is that someone else has felt the same thing. 

--i thought i was doing it right bein' alone

i swore i'd never let somebody get close again

i was never gonna let my guard down, not for anyone

but there's a light in your eyes and it's got me movin' in

and tonight these walls are all comin' down

and my heart is open, i'm lettin' you in

cause you give me a reason

and the faith i've been needing to start again--

--slow to trust but i'm quick to love.

i push to hard and i give too much

i ain't saying i'm perfect.

but i'm saying i'm worth it.

now i'm standing here in front of you.

tell me boy, what are you gonna do?--

--cause you give me something.

that makes me scared, alright

this could be nothing

but i'm willing to give it a try

please give me something

cause someday i might know my heart--

--cause i'm not who i was

when i took my first step

and i'm clinging to the promise

you're not through with me yet

so if all of these trials

bring me closer to you

then i will walk through the fire

if you want me to--

--i wanna do something that matters

say something different

something that sets the whole world on it's ear

i wanna do something better, with the time i've been given

and i wanna touch a few hearts in this life

and leave nothing less than something that says

i was here--

--they say that time takes it's toll on a body

makes the young girls brown hair turn grey

honey i don't care, i'm not in love with your hair

if it all fell out, i'd love you anyways--

--i won't run when it looks like love

i can't spend another night alone

regretting what i've done

so i won't run--

--if you want to be happy for the rest of your life

never make a pretty woman your wife

go for my personal point of view

get an ugly girl to marry you--

fun photo of the day....

my mom as mother superior in the town musical. she can make all lyrics sound beautiful.

who is your emergency contact?

a lot is going on in life right now.

in my heart right now. 

a lot of growing and changing and learning how to act with your heart instead of just talking with your mouth. 

anyways, today i had to get a bunch of  "emergency contact" names and numbers for work.

now as a kid, of course it was always my parents.

in fact it still says joe and clarissa frail. 

but i just realized, it might be time to get a new emergency contact.

might be time to grow up.

saddest thing was a lot of people didn't have an emergency contact.

their parents had either past away, or no friends, no siblings, no marriage. 

just no one. 

what happens to those who get hurt and have no emergency contact?

then i thought, this was more than just for hospital reasons, this was for life.

what happens when we get hurt in life and we have no one there to help?

no one there to protect us when we're fragile?

what if we never let anyone close enough to know us better than we know ourselves? 

what happens when we get hurt and need saving? 

at the end of life, do you really want to have your "emergency contact" blank? 

and i think sometimes i get so scared of looking weak, i never let anyone take care of me. 

i'm strong.

i'm independent.

i'm a woman.

rooooarrr i can play sports.

haha seriously though.

when do we have to grow up and choose to let people help us?

as kids we don't get to choose if our parents are involved or not.

but growing up we get to choose, stand alone or let someone in.

whether that's friends or a relationship, we choose.

i think for 26 years i've liked being free and i've always had amazing friends so that's enough.

but sometimes, you have to realize, we all need to be taken care of sometimes.

so whatever your excuse is for not finding your emergency contact.

no fish in the sea.

just wanna have fun.

busy.

my career...just saying ;)

whatever it is....maybe don't be so afraid of getting your new emergency contact. 

OK enough of that, now a happy thought. I always think a positive note is the way to start and end the day!

their names.

carrie.

aggie.

two of the best people you.will.ever.meet.

 

he might have the coolest job ever...

i love my job. i mean a job is a job, but i have a lot of fun so there for i love it. i've never had job envy, i'm thankful for where i am. however, i was driving home for lunch, that's right, i go home so i can eat cereal. anyways, i was driving home and saw this man, on the corner downtown.

 i had to stop, take a picture, and compose myself. i loved him, he made me laugh really hard. i don't know why, it might have been the umbrella or the fact that this isn't nyc, but yet we have a hot dog vendor. he might have the most fun job ever. he only has to work when it's nice out, he has the fun colored umbrella, and he smells hotdogs all day. how fun is that? i work and work and work and i know that a job like this is where i'm going to be someday. except i want a polka dot umbrella.

standing up in a world that turns...

If your friends described you in 5 words or less what do you think they would be? 

funny. kind. faithful. listener. sweet. bold. handsome. GORGEOUS ;) leader. loving. passionate. etc.

do you think the way your friends see you are the way you see yourself? Do you think the world sees you the way you want to be seen?

 

I've always thought the world sees me as a Christian, a leader until I was approached by a situation that would make me think otherwise. No need for details it wasn't a big deal, it was just an eye opening situation. If the world doesn't see me as who I THINK I am, than am I just "talking the talk, not walking the walk?"

It's easy to talk to your friends about your beliefs and the things you're passionate about. Whether it is faith, friends, family, politics, dreams, etc., but when you're put to the test, to actually put the plan in motion, do you choke? 

It's hard to do, but actions do speak louder than words. In a world that is going and going and not really thinking of the consequences, are you going with the flow or standing up for things you believe in? It seems that we're all waiting for someone else to stand up first, someone to help us. Maybe you or I are supposed to be the first one to stand, the first one to say "what the heck are we listening to him for, he's wearing eyeliner?!!" 

I'm not saying I'm going to be the one to change the world, I'm just saying maybe it's time to stand up.  Truth is, no one is going to call you a leader or a life changing person if you're not.

the little blessings that sneak up on you...

Life is full of surprises, that's for sure. As I "mature" I'm realizing that life actually isn't perfect. Sometimes I feel we all spend so much time waiting on these huge spectacular events to happen that we miss the true golden tickets in life.  Don't get me wrong, I love the fireworks, the big, undeniable, knock the breath out of your lungs miracle moments.  But if we look real close we'll see that life is full of little accidents, things that don't go as planned and yet they end up beautiful. I feel blessed. Sometimes I just have to take a step back and realize how many wonderful things my life is made up of.  I would like to share some of my smiles.

First is my mermaid of a niece Dylan. ha if she doesn't make you smile, you need to watch the movie "A Christmas Carol" and study the character Ebenezer Scrooge. take notes. enough said.

nashville. The town my friends and I call ours. It may not be perfect,but what a time it's given all of us!

Driving by my friend Dan on the highway, on his man scooter!haha

my lovely friends and our latest experience. Who would have ever thought this one race, one morning of our lives, would change it forever?Typed up words can't even begin to explain the struggle and joy we've all had these past 5 months. It's amazing how surprising yourself can move your heart.

I don't care how crazy I look laughing to myself, I don't want to waste any of these "little" moments.